On This Harvest Moon
by jcronove
Summary: The harvest moon is 24 hours away, and it's making Remus Lupin feel like he's about to jump out of his skin. He tries everything to keep the wolf's tendencies at bay. Luckily, his best friends are there, especially Sirius, who can help him overcome the harvest moon in more ways than one. Wolfstar, RL/SB
1. Chapter 1

It was October 1976, one month after the start of the Marauder's 7th year. Professors were piling on homework to get the students ready for NEWTs, the first quidditch matches were on the horizon, and with the unspoken confirmation that a war was brewing, everyone was on edge.

One student in particular, Remus Lupin, seemed extra distressed. The harvest moon about to take place in just 24 hours, and with the moon brighter and closer in the sky, Remus was feeling it's pull stronger than usual. The Marauders knew it was that time of the month and let Remus sleep as long as possible in order to build his strength to take on the moon coming tomorrow night.

When Remus woke up, he felt unrested and grumpy, noticing his senses were heightened to an alarming degree. He's dealt with the harvest moon before, but for some reason, it felt this harvest moon was affecting him more than before. His skin felt hot, almost feverish. He wanted meat.

He walked into the Great Hall and sat down heavily at the Gryffindor table, rubbing the back of his neck and closing his eyes. It was Saturday morning, and James and Sirius has their heads together studying the quidditch playbook before their match against Ravenclaw in one hour. Peter was pouring over his Charms books, trying to prepare for their exam on Monday.

"Alright there, Moony?" Asked Sirius, pushing back his chin-length dark hair out of his eyes. Remus opened his eyes and caught Sirius' steel-gray gaze.

The Marauders have been through enough full moons together that they could tell when Remus wasn't feeling all like himself. Though, Sirius seemed to make more of a subconscious effort to make sure he was taken care of. Taking notes on the days he missed classes - being the first to pipe up with an excuse when his fellow classmates asked where Remus was, hexing the Slytherins when they made fun of his scars. The group never mentioned it; that's just how it's always been.

"M'fine," Remus responded curtly. He felt a dull pull at the bottom of his stomach and looked away, piling his plate full of sausage and bacon, digging in hungrily. The meat tasted so good, but not as good as-.

Remus tried not to think about that. Anything but that. He knew he was feeling out of sorts, that personality traits of the wolf could come out at any moment. The wolf wanted to hunt, to rip into actual flesh and taste the blood and meat of his kill...

James and Sirius glanced at each other. They've been through the harvest moon during their fourth year and saw how it affected Remus. He was so aggravated by the moon that he punched Lucius Malfoy during Potions for adding lacewing flies instead of dragonfly thorax. That night was painful for James, Sirius, and Peter as they watched helplessly; Remus was in the hospital for days after that night.

"Are you planning on coming to the quidditch match today, then?" Asked James. Remus glances up from his plate.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? It's the first match of the year.."

James lowered his voice and raised his eyebrows, "The you-know-what that's you-know-when that makes you feel all...you know..."

Remus stopped eating. He looked at James then Sirius, who both wore tentative expressions. He could feel his anger bubbling up inside. Just because it's the harvest moon, doesn't mean his friends should be acting like he's about the transform in the middle of the Great Hall.

Remus swallowed his food, trying to pick the right words and keep his emotions in check. Remus hated feeling like this. "You don't have to treat today or tomorrow any differently. I know what I'm doing. I can handle it."

James put up his hands. "Not saying you can't, mate, just worried is all. You don't look that great."

"Gee, thanks, Prongs," growled Remus, rolling his eyes as he picked up his fork again. "I'll be there. I have to stop at the library to drop off a few of these Transfiguration books I grabbed for our report, but then I'll head down with Peter."

James clasped his hands together and smiled. "Fantastic! If we win, Frank said he'll turn a blind eye to a party in the common room, so we better start thinking about sneaking drinks and snacks from the kitchens. Anyway, I should go find Lils before I head down to the pitch." With that, James grabbed his broom, messing up his hair and he shuffled down to the other end of the table to speak to Lily and her friends, Marlene and Dorcas, before the game.

Remus gave a small smile. A party is just what everyone needs right now to distract them from classes and the verge of war that's been talked about in The Daily Prophet.

The wolf inside suddenly perked up, looking forward to being outside, to the large number of warm bodies huddled close together with their blood pumping in anticipation as they watch the match...

Remus shook his head violently to shake out the murderous thoughts and cleared his throat.

"Pads, when are you headed to the pitch?" He Asked Sirius.

"Soon. James said he had a big speech prepared, so I want to make sure I'm there for "moral support", but I just want to see if he's going to yak from nerves. You'll be in the stands? Usual spot, yeah?"

"Yeah, usual spot. Good luck, mate. Be sure to beat those...bats... at the bludgers, not harming Ravenclaw too terribly..." Remus gave a sheepish grin and looked away. He loved to support his friends, but he knew next to nothing about quidditch. Sirius let out a bark of a laugh.

"Maybe we should keep the speeches to Prongs, eh? But, cheers!" Sirius looked past Remus. "Looks like the team is headed out." He stood up and clapped Remus and Peter on the shoulder. "See you lads after the match!" With that, Sirius raced towards his teammates, throwing his arms over their shoulders as they walked out of the Great Hall.

Remus felt the weight of Sirius' hand on his shoulder long after he left, and he tried not to focus on the lingering feeling. He finished his last bite of breakfast and turned to Peter. "Come on, Wormtail, we should head to the library now so we don't lose our seats to some squirmy first years."

Peter quickly drank the rest of his pumpkin juice and got up from the table, stumbling to get his legs out from the bench, running after Remus. "Coming! Coming! I hope Madame Pince was able to get that book about the 18th century goblin wars. Apparently, magic historians just discovered a whole new set of goblin-made silver..."

Remus quickly stopped paying attention to Peter. He was a good guy as far as anyone could tell, and a great scapegoat when it came to playing pranks, but Merlin, could he be boring sometimes. Remus has other things on his mind today besides listening to Peter prattle on about how engrossing History of Magic essays are going to be this year.

He let his mind wander, still thinking about Sirius' hand on his shoulder at breakfast. Why was he thinking about Sirius' hand on his shoulder? It's not like they haven't touched shoulders before, so why did this feel different? Remus just chalked it up to the harvest moon heightening his senses, feeling Sirius' energy for the quidditch match. He cracked his neck as he walked and ran a hand through his hair. He really hated feeling everything during this time of the month.

"...Remus? REMUS!"

Remus stopped walking and looked around.

"You walked straight passed the library, Moony!" Said Peter, a few yards back. "You must have really been spacing. You okay?"

Remus backtracked and pushed open the double doors to the library. "I'd feel better if everyone would stop asking me how I was the whole bloody day," he cursed through his teeth. Peter squeaked and turned red. "Right. Got it..."

Remus quickly dropped off his books and turned to walk quickly towards the quidditch pitch. By the time they reached the stands, the teams were already in starting formation and Madame Hooch was about to throw up the quaffle. Remus spotted Sirius and James. The weather was cloudy, perfect for quidditch, but dark clouds were on the horizon. Remus hoped the game would end before the rain came.

Remus and Peter quickly hurried up the steps and saw some runty first years in their usual spot in front of Lily and Marlene. Remus immediately flushed.

"Oy, these aren't your seats. Scram!" He forcefully picked up the first years by the arms and pushed them out of the seats. They screamed in protest and rubbed their arms. Remus didn't want to deal with their whining, he just wanted to watch his friends play the game. He made a move to shove them out of the way roughly but heard a stern voice behind him.

"Remus, what are you doing?! You can't just shove people from their seats when they got there first! Honestly, there are other seats down the bench!" Exclaimed Lily. Remus saw out of the corner of his eye Peter gesturing wildly to make Lily stop talking. Remus turned around to face her.

"Lils, are you joking? These are our seats. Ours! We've been sitting here for years, they can't just waltz in here and...sit down...because they got here first. We have seniority. The Marauders. Ours." He knew he was sounding territorial and slightly mad. Over some quidditch seats?

Lily looked at him questionably then turned to Peter. Remus rolled his eyes and turned his back to Lily and towards the game. He's pretty sure he heard Wormtail murmur to her something about the full moon and to excuse his actions, but he chose to ignore it. He knows he was acting out of line, but ugh, it felt good to just not care for once.

The quidditch match ended with Gryffindor winning 370-120. It was exhilarating; Remus loved watching his friends play quidditch even if he didn't follow the rules of the game. He would cheer when Sirius blocked a bludger or when James scored a goal. He held his breath when Ivan Wood shot toward the snitch or when Ravenclaw had possession of the quaffle. Once the game ended, he spotted Sirius and James cheering and laughing on the field.

Peter, Remus, and Lily started to made their way down from the bleachers and began to walk towards the locker rooms, waiting for James and Sirius. The wind started to pick up, and Remus' heightened senses caught the scent of something specific, the same scent he caught at breakfast, but now it was stronger. It was almost desirable. It was woodsy, almost like cedar with a mixture of citrus. It enticed Remus. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and let the scent overwhelm him. It was coming from the locker rooms. He opened his eyes and stared.

He wanted, no, needed, to know what that scent was. Remus cracked his neck and made his way to start walking towards the room when someone grabbed his arm.

"Remus, you can't go in there," said Lily sternly. She stared at him with that specific look in her eye. She knew what happening. She's read the books and witnessed his actions before each full moon. She, in true Gryffindor spirit, wasn't afraid to put him (or more accurately, the wolf) in his place. Remus stared angrily back, trying to come to grips with these strong feelings. He had a scent. He had to track it. He had to know who it belongs to.

But, deep down, Remus knew she was right. What was he thinking? He closed his eyes and grimaced, trying to push down the wolf's instincts. Lily's hand was still clenched hard in his arm like it was there to bring him back to reality.

Remus groaned loudly and ripped her hand away from his arm, turning his body away from the locker rooms. "I'm going back to the castle. Don't follow me. I'll see you guys for dinner." With that, Remus shoves his hands in his pockets and started towards the castle, walking quickly. Lily and Peter watched him, mouths agape.

Lily broke the silence. "Peter, I know tomorrow's the full moon, but I don't ever remember Remus acting this way."

"Tomorrow's a /harvest/ moon," he specified quietly. "Apparently, the moon is affecting him more intensely since it's closer, brighter and fuller. We were with him during a harvest moon a few years ago; it was terrible. He was moody, sure, but this... this is new," squeaked Peter.

They didn't get a chance to finish their conversation as James and Sirius emerged, brooms in hand, looking sweaty and elated. Lily scrunched up her face playfully as James swooped in and gave her a big hug. Sirius pulled his hair away from his face, looking around.

"Pete, where's Moony? I thought he was coming to the match?"

"He was here, but just left," said Peter. "Started walking back up to the castle not a moment ago. He's in a foul state, doesn't want to be bothered."

Lily turned to face the group, looking concerned. "Foul state is right," she said. "He physically shoved a bunch of first years from the bleachers, practically screaming that they were in his seats. Usually he's just achy and exhausted, maybe a bit short, but never aggressive. It's almost like a new person took his place."

James and Sirius looked at each other. "We'll keep and eye out on him," said Sirius confidently. "If he gets out of hand, we'll convince him to go to the hospital wing. Maybe Pomphrey can give him something to calm his nerves before tomorrow."

"Yeah, we'll leave him be for a few hours," James piped in. "Besides, we have a party to plan!" He started cheering. "Wormtail, you'll be able to sneak into the kitchens and grab the snacks, right?"

James and Peter continued to plan the party while Sirius walked in silence. He knew Moony suffered, and he knew how bad it was in fourth year. But, he also trusted Remus. He'll come to them if there's a real problem...right? Sirius felt a nudge, breaking him from his train of thought.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" Asked Lily. She was fully aware of how close Sirius and Remus were, even if they and everyone else were too daft to see it. They just worked perfectly together, it was almost effortless. She wouldn't be surprised if they developed something more than just friendship and brotherhood between them.

Sirius smiled. He could always count on Lily to be watching. It took him a while to open up to her after she and James started seeing each other, but she's proven herself trustworthy with Moony's "furry little problem". She gave him advice about any and all issues - at least the ones he cares to share, anyway.

"Just wondering about Remus. He's pretty open about how he's feeling, but it's not like him to be, as you say, aggressive." Sirius exhaled loudly, not realizing he was holding his breath. "But, he's a big boy and can figure it out."

Quickly changing the subject, Sirius asked, "Lils, where's Marlene? I have to make sure she saw that awesome deflection against Bones." He gave a cheeky grin.

Sirius and Marlene have been dating on and off for about a year. Always fun, always casual, never serious. They see other people, but always find their way back to each other. Marlene could be compared to the female version of Sirius- lover of quidditch, flirting, and living fast.

The group reached the castle and made their way to the common room to shower and finish planning their victory party.


	2. Chapter 2

The wind was really starting to blow and the rain began to drizzle by the time Remus reached the castle. His muscles ached and he didn't want to be around all of his cheery classmates anymore. He made a beeline straight back to the library. It's his quiet haven, where he feels most comfortable during times like these. The Marauders have the map and will know where he is. They're busy planning the party in the common room anyway, so they won't go looking for him for hours. He just needs quiet, time to focus on these racing thoughts.

Remus found one of the soft couches near the windows and took off his scarf and cloak. He felt his jumper sticking to his back, his body temperature on the rise. Remus always ran warm due to his lycanthropy, and became feverish around the full moon. He stared into the rain for what felt like an hours, trying to make sense of these new feelings. He thought back to the scent near the quidditch locker room, trying to figure out what it was, what the wolf needed. All of a sudden, he a shift in his mood. He needs to find Sirius. Sirius knows what to do. He turns into a canine, he can help somewhat, right?

He quickly gets out of his seat and walks out of the library towards the common room. His bones groan with the swift movements, but he didn't care. He needs to just find Sirius and then it'll all make sense...

Remus' mind was on this single track, blocking the outside world until he ran smack into someone, knocking him backwards. He grumbled, quickly becoming enraged that he was disrupted.

"Watch it, will you?!" He snarled.

"Mr. Lupin, my dear boy! What's the hurry? Oh dear, you alright? You look awful. Come, come to my office, I'll give you something to perk right up. This weather, eh? Sucks the warmth right out of you."

Of all the people to run into right now, it had to be Professor Slughorn. To be fair, it could've been Lucius Malfoy or Snape, in which case the outcome of that interaction would have ended in some seriously body altering hexes.

Remus steadied his breath. This was a professor, not Malfoy or Snape. He had to compose himself. He stood up straight and slowly backed away.

"Oh, no thanks, Professor. I was just coming back from the library and headed to the common room to relax for a few hours after the quidditch match. Big win for Gryffindor, eh? Thanks for your concern, I'm fine. Really. See you Monday!"

Remus hightailed it to the nearest staircase and didn't turn around. He could hear Slughorn call after him but he didn't care. He scoffed at the thought of having tea and talking about his foul mood. There's no remedy for lycanthropy, so what's the point? He wiped his face. Did he really look as terrible as he felt?

By the time he reached the portrait hole, Remus was exhausted and irritated about his quick interaction with Slughorn. He was halfway up the stairs to the dorm, he stopped in his tracks. He picked up that same intoxicating scent from the quidditch pitch. He opened the door and what felt like a cloud of the smell erupted from the room.

James was lounging on his bed, finishing up the last few inches of his potions essay. Steam was billowing from their shared bathroom, meaning Sirius was taking one of his infamous long, hot showers. Remus was frozen in the doorway.

James looked up from his parchment.

"Hey, Moons! I didn't think we'd see you for a few more hours," said James. "Peter's still in the kitchen gathering supplies for to-." James stopped talking and looked at Remus. "Rem, what's going on? Are you listening to me?"

Remus didn't realize he was staring at James. He was so entranced by whatever scent is filling the room, he was not listening to a word James was saying. James then got up and stood in front of Remus.

"Moony, pay attention," he said harshly, snapping his fingers in front of his face. Remus blinked, coming back into focus. "What are you feeling?" Asked James, concerned.

It was common for Remus' mind to wander around the full moon, distracted by the rough night ahead. The Marauders were keen to keep him distracted, keeping his attention to the task at hand. They knew when he really needed to focus, asking him pointed questions so they knew where his mind was at all times.

"I...I don't know," he confessed. Remus isn't one to admit defeat. He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair and balled his fists. He tiredly looked at James.

"This godforsaken moon, it's making me feel different. I smell everything, I sense everything. This," he motioned to all of himself, "this feels different than last time. I feel more, argh, I don't even know how I feel. It wants something..." his voice trailed off.

James kept his eyes on Remus. "Moony, you have to let us know if we need to get McGonagall or Pomphrey. They know what to do. Are you sure you're - OY! Listen!"

Remus couldn't listen. The bathroom door had opened and Sirius came out and looked at the two of them, dressed in denim jeans and a dark t-shirt, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. Remus visibly tensed. He felt a deep pull in his stomach. The scent, it was Sirius. Oh, Godric. It was Sirius.

Remus didn't know how to process this information. The wolf made him want to... he didn't even know. The feelings that were stirring up inside of him were such a mixture.

"What's going on?" Asked Sirius, tossing his towel on his bed, walking towards the two. Remus backed away slightly, squaring his jaw. God, he smelled so...so good. Sirius stopped walking and James looked at Remus curiously.

"I need to lie down if I'm going to make it to this party," Remus said roughly, not making eye contact with anyone, especially not Sirius. "You two should leave. Go plan this party down in the common room." He made his way to his bed, sitting down gingerly, trying to keep from launching himself at Sirius. "I'll come down when I'm ready."

Remus then closed the curtains to his bed, effectively ending any communication between his friends. He made no movement until he knew both James and Sirius were downstairs. He exhaled.

Everyone had a scent, and Remus always smelled them stronger before and after the full moon, so this wasn't news. But, he's been around Sirius in human and wolf form every single day for seven years. Why was this different?


	3. Chapter 3

Remus pondered in his bed until the sky grew dark and the temperature in the room was almost uncomfortable cold, he was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the door creak open. Peter slowly enter the room, tiptoeing to Remus' nightstand and setting down a roast beef sandwich, bacon, and chicken. Remus' stomach growled loudly. He hadn't realized his missed lunch.

"Moony, I, uh, I'm dropping off some dinner for you," whispered Peter. "The party started and is getting pretty wild. Are you coming down?"

Remus opened the curtains, and Peter jumped. The food smelled delicious. He eyed it hungrily.

"Hey Pete. Thanks for the food. I'm feeling a bit better," Remus lied. "I'll eat and meet you all down there."

"Okay," Peter squeaked. He looked Remus up and down. "You might want to throw some water on your face, too. You're looking quite peaky."

Remus rolled his eyes and picked up half of his sandwich, hoping his focus on food would calm his bubbling anger toward Peter. "Yeah, well, you go through this and tell me how you feel, Wormtail."

He bit into the sandwich. Oh, it was so good. Meaty. Salty. Iron. "I'm fine. Let me finish and I'll see you down there. Thanks again."

Peter walked quickly out of the room. Remus scarfed down the rest of the food hungrily, stopping only to sip on some water that was left next to his bed from the night before.

Remus walked to their shared bathroom to get ready. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were hard, his lips were bright red in contrast to his pale pallor. His hair was sticking up all over the place. He looked almost deranged. They weren't kidding, he barely recognized himself.

Remus quickly splashed some cold water on his face and rubbed his eyes. He didn't bother to shave this morning and couldn't be troubled with it now. He slapped his cheeks and shook his head. He had to act normal.

Remus took another look in the mirror, muttering, "as good as it's going to get," and walked out of the dormitory.

The music became louder as Remus entered the common room, which was filled with gold and maroon streamers, a fire was roaring in the hearth, and people were dancing. On one side of the room, right under the bulletin board, were tables full of butterbeer, pumpkin juice, some mead and firewhiskey, as well as sweets, pasties, and other snacks to much on throughout the night.

Remus grabbed a glass of butterbeer and scanned the room, still feeling on edge. He found Sirius leaning against the fireplace mantle, talking to Marlene. Remus tensed.

As if on cue, Sirius glanced up, catching Remus' gaze. He smiled widely and raised his glass. Remus' felt that pull in his stomach again and his chest grow warm. He gave a small smile and wave, turning around to chug the rest of his butterbeer and then poured himself a shot of firewhiskey and swallowed it quickly.

Remus hates this harvest moon. He hated these heightened senses and emotions and just wanted to drown them out. He went to pour himself another shot when he felt two hands clasp his shoulders.

"Moony! Glad you came down. Great party, eh? Though you might want to slow down if you feel like staying out for a while." James grabbed Remus' shot and gulped it down, grimacing.

Remus went to pour himself another shot. "Yeah, well, if you want to see me have any fun, I'll need a few more drinks to calm these nerves." He swallowed his drink. "I feel like I could run for miles, scream at every Slytherin individually, or rip my skin off."

James looked at Remus, amused. His eyes were starting to glass over from drinking, but he steadied himself. "Don't be a martyr, Moons. If you need us, we're here."

Remus scoffed. "Prongs, you'll be busy with Lily and Sirius is about 10 minutes away from sticking his tongue down Marlene's throat. Anyway, it's your celebration party. Go have fun. I'll track one of you down if I need babysitting."

With that, Remus slid past James and walked towards the table where Lily and Dorcas were playing a game of wizard's chess. He could feel the alcohol taking its affect, making him feel dazed. Finally. "You guys are playing chess at a party?"

"Remus! Hey, we missed you all day today," said Dorcas. Dorcas was sweet, shy, and studious, very much like Remus. Their friends were always pushing for the two to date, but they were both too timid to ask each other. "We're playing a drinking game. Depending on which pieces get removed from the board is how many seconds we have to drink. So, more seconds for the queen bishops, less for the pawns."

"Almost like you need to switch that scale around to be really effective, Meadows," said a voice behind Remus. He tensed. Sirius.

Dorcas' eyes grew wide. "Duh! Why didn't I think of that! There's only one queen and so many pawns." She giggled. "Oh, well. Remus, wanna dance?"

Remus tried to regulate his breathing. He wouldn't mind dancing with Dorcas if it was any other party, but not tonight. Remus shook his head and glanced at Lily, who was studying him carefully. "Nah, I'm not, uh, ready...to, uhm... uh.." Remus was having a hard time finding words. Sirius was standing too close. He was going to lose all sense.

Lily took the hint. "Remus, can you grab me a drink? Meet us on the dance floor," Lily exclaimed, grabbing Dorcas' hands and moving from her seat. Remus sighed. Oh, bless her.

Without even acknowledging Sirius was there, Remus turned around and went straight back to the drink table. He glanced back at Dorcas and Lily in the center of the common room, shaking their hips and laughing. Lily caught his eye and gave him a knowing smile. Remus sighed and frowned.

"Remus, hey."

Remus groaned. Why can't Sirius leave him alone and go back to flirting with Marlene on the OTHER side of the common room?

"Hi," he replied shortly, not facing his friend.

"Great party, eh? Look at James slowly making his way to Evans, trying to be all suave." Sirius made a wave motion with his hand and chuckled, glancing at Remus. He was trying to diffuse the palpable tension that was filling up the space between them. "You feeling better, mate?" He asked.

Remus busied himself pouring a cup of mead, his hands shaking slightly. Lily's plan didn't work. He wanted to exit the premise as fast as possible. Lily was still dancing with Dorcas, laughing at James' quirky dance moves. This would have been the best, most fun night to hang out and make good memories, but instead it's ruined by this moon cycle.

"Oy, Rem. You listening?" Asked Sirius, lightly touching Remus' arm. Remus felt like he was shocked with electricity at Sirius' touch. He jumped and splashing mead all over the table. He roughly set down the cup and looked up at Sirius, who was staring at him curiously. Remus swallowed hard, trying to steady himself. He felt himself pale and his vision began to swim, like he was drifting away as the wolf started to take a stronger hold of his consciousness.

He couldn't breathe. Now was the time to leave.

"I'm uh... I have to go. Sirius. I have to not be here, right now. I'll, uhm.." He didn't want to bring attention to himself. There were too many people. He was losing control. Dammit, Sirius.

Remus tried to breathe through his nose, focusing on keeping himself calm. People were coming in droves to refill their cups at the table. He was shoved into Sirius, who caught him swiftly by the elbows.

"Woah, steady, Moons," said Sirius into his ear. Sirius' hands were warm and strong as he tried to steady Remus upright. Remus could smell Sirius' fresh scent. Woodsy and citrus, just like before. His jaw clenched and his mind was quickly becoming clouded. So many people, noises, scents. And Sirius' touch. "I need air." He needed to get away. He pushed away from Sirius, stumbling towards the portrait hole.

Sirius set down his drink down, grabbing Remus under the arm and directed him to the portrait hole. Remus could feel that familiar pull getting stronger, his body growing warmer. Luckily, to anyone watching, it would look like Remus was drunk and Sirius was taking care of him.

"Let's get out of here," said Sirius quietly. Remus broke out into a sweat, wrestling with his consciousness to accept Sirius' help. He was in no state to decline.

He could smell so many people. All in one place. It would be so easy...

Sirius caught James' eye and held up his hand, signaling that he had Remus under control. They spoke earlier in the day that only one of them would take Remus to the hospital wing if it came to that, to avoid suspicion from their classmates. James nodded his head and motioned to his pocket, telling Sirius to use the mirror if anything happened. Sirius nodded and gently pushed Remus through the portrait hole and into the castle.


	4. Chapter 4

As Sirius and Remus walked away from the Fat Lady, the sounds of the party dulled and the air became cooler. Remus' vision was slowly coming back into focus now that his senses weren't overwhelmed by the noises of the party. Godric, his head was pounding. He gritted his teeth, breathing heavily as he tried to control the overwhelming feeling on Sirius' presence. He remembered Sirius still had hold of his arm

"Where are we going, Sirius?" Asked Remus gruffly, trying to break free from his grip. He couldn't remember where they were walking to. Sirius just held on tighter.

"I'm taking you to the hospital wing, like we planned," he answered simply.

Remus stopped walking. No. No, no. He didn't want to go there. He didn't want to be in the hospital from now until after the full moon. That could be three days! The wolf protested, he wanted to run.

"No."

Sirius stopped walking and looked at Remus, loosening his. "What do you mean, no?" He took a step closer to Remus, who took a step backwards, grabbing the wall to steady himself without Sirius holding him up.

"I'm...I'm not going to the hospital wing. I can take care of myself," said Remus weakly. "Go back to the party, I'm sure Marlene is wondering where you are."

Sirius was silent, thinking of how to best approach the situation. Instead of yelling that he was going to kick Remus' arse all the way to Pomphrey, he tried to reason with him.

"Of course you can, you've handled much worse," said Sirius matter-of-factly, not breaking his gaze. "But, to be honest, Remus, you're not acting like yourself and you need to get yourself in check before we head back to the common room, alright? How about we find an empty classroom until you've calmed down and sorted yourself out, eh? Marlene can wait."

Remus pondered this. Sirius was always so good at negotiating. He couldn't deny that the wolf had a stronger hold on him today than any other full moon, but the thought of being locked in an empty classroom with just Sirius made him anxious. But, he didn't have a choice. If he started running, he definitely would be hexed and taken to the hospital wing unwillingly. If he complied, the wolf would get the run free for a little while longer.

Remus slowly nodded.

Sirius made a move to help Remus again, but Remus visibly flinched.

"I can walk on my own," muttered Remus. "Feeling better."

The two walked a bit until they found their classroom. It was used mostly for students during their free period to catch up on work, or, in the case of the Marauders, plan pranks on the Slytherins.

Remus walked into the room and opened a window, feeling the cold wind and heavy rain hit his face, bringing him back to reality. He inhaled deeply and leaned against the windowsill.

Sirius sat on a bench, stretched out his long legs and crossed his arms, watching Remus curiously. He always watched Remus - studying, reading, laughing, thinking. Remus was the most interesting. James was his brother, undoubtedly, but Remus was his friend. His closest, most trusted friend. He cared for him deeply.

Sirius understood Remus better after becoming an Animagi and feeling the canine senses as Padfoot. He understood the werewolf's basic instincts to run and hunt. During the full moon, Sirius and Remus would communicate on stronger terms than James and Peter. They just understood each other.

Sirius spoke first after several minutes. "Remus, what are you feeling?"

Remus, still facing the window, began rubbing the back of his neck and sighed loudly. This is why he didn't want to speak to Sirius. He could say the wrong thing or do something he'd regret. The one person the wolf wants the most is the only other person in this room. Remus himself didn't know what that meant. What did the wolf want with Sirius? He didn't want to find out.

"I don't know, Padfoot. Ever since this morning, I've been feeling like I'm losing my mind. And back there, in the common room, I think the drinks dulled my senses and the...wolf... was coming out stronger."

Sirius wrung his hands, not sure how to ask his next question. He figured it's best to be blunt so there was no miscommunication.

"Are you turning early because of the harvest moon? Am I safe, or should I turn into Padfoot?"

Shocked by the question, Remus turned around, trying ignoring every wolffish impulse to square up to Sirius.

"No, I don't think so. I feels like last time, just much stronger. It's not like turning. It's just...this sounds so stupid...but it's almost emotional. And I'm having a hard time separating the wolf from me." Remus looked down.

Sirius jumped up from his seat and walked toward Remus. Remus put his hands up.

"Sirius, you have to stay away. You...you smell."

Sirius paused. "I...I what?" He asked, surprised by the unexpected comment.

"Your scent, it's...it's really strong. For some reason, it's affecting me and I'm having a really hard time from just..." Remus put his head in his hands, defeated. "It's driving me mad."

Sirius stayed silent. He didn't know what that meant. He smelled different? Than he usually did? He wasn't sure how his scent could change, but he saw how this was making Remus feel. He saw how conflicted he was. He just wanted to comfort his friend. He shouldn't feel alone.

Sirius wasn't afraid of Remus. He confidently continued walking towards Remus and placed his hands gently on either side of Remus' shoulders, squeezing slightly. Remus flinched, but didn't make a move to back away. He started to breathe heavier, closing his eyes, concentrating on pushing back the wolf.

"Moony, I'm not sure what that means, but I'm not going anywhere."

Remus barely heard. Sirius was so close, and they were alone. He could do anything. He could hurt Sirius. Did he want to hurt Sirius? The scent paired with Sirius' touch on his arms, trying to bring him back to reality was making it hard to concentrate on where he was. He was at Hogwarts, in the empty classroom. It's Saturday, night time, and he's with Sirius. He's alone with Sirius.

Remus clutched his head and moaned quietly. It was pounding. His skin felt too tight. He was losing control of his wits.

"Remus?"

This was it. He couldn't hold back anymore. Remus suddenly stood up straight, grabbing Sirius' arms, turning him so he was pressed up against the wall, with nowhere to move.

Sirius' eyes widened, and Remus could feel his pulse quicken. "Remus...what are you doing?" He asked breathlessly.

Remus didn't answer. He locked eyes with Sirius and tightened his grip around his strong arms. Sirius didn't fight back.

Remus was overpowered by the wolf within. He pushed his body up against Sirius, his hips making contact with his. Sirius let out a gasp, never breaking eye contact.

Remus broke eye contact, leaning his face closer to Sirius, so close he could feel his warm, shaky breath on his lips. he could almost taste the firewhiskey Sirius had drank before they left. Remus then lowered his face to Sirius' neck, pushing his hips deeper into his. Merlin, this was it. It was everything. Remus' lips gently brushed Sirius' collarbone, making him moan.

Sirius was, in every sense of the word, shocked. Shocked by Remus' bold actions, and shocked by how much he liked it. It was dangerous, and real, and he wasn't even sure if this was something Remus was going to remember. He wanted to explore, but didn't want to take advantage of his friend. He grabbed Remus' hips, pushing him away slightly so he could get the upper hand, pinning Remus up against the wall.

Remus suddenly felt trapped. He stared at Sirius and let out a low growl. He didn't like to feel overpowered. Sirius kept one arm across Remus' chest and placed another on his hip, keeping him steady.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Said Sirius gruffly. He could feel Remus' rapid heartbeat under his arm. Remus tried to push him away, but he was weakened by the moon and Sirius was strong.

Remus didn't answer. Sirius thought he saw his eyes change from amber to gold for a split second. Remus closed his eyes and shook his head, pushing his hips strongly toward Sirius.

"Sirius...", Remus murmured. He bent his head toward Sirius' chest, inhaling deeply. He then pushed Sirius roughly, breaking the spell for a moment and catching him off guard. Remus shoved him again hard, sticking his foot behind Sirius' leg, making lose his balance and fall to the floor.

Remus was immediately on top of Sirius, pushing him into the ground, hands on his chest. Sirius then grabbed Remus' wrists forcefully, twisting his arms so he lost balance and landed on his side. Sirius got the upper hand, pinning Remus' wrists to the floor. He lowered his body down, pinning Remus even harder.

This could turn bad really fast, thought Sirius. He couldn't even focus on the steamy events that just took place, he had to calm his friend down and take him to the hospital wing. He had to call James for backup.

"Remus!" Shouted Sirius, over and over to try to bring Moony back to reality.

Remus was struggling hard against Sirius' weight. He wanted to pull Sirius' face towards him and shut him up. But here was shouting. Anger. It pulled him back to the surface. He could breathe.

Remus stopped struggling. "Sirius, I hear you, stop screaming!" He felt like his head was going to split open.

Sirius let out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. "Oh thank Merlin," he sighed. "Can I get off you now? Will you claw my eyes out or snog me senseless?" Sirius joked weakly.

Remus moved to push Sirius off him and sat up while Sirius clambered to his feet. Both boys were winded, sweating after their close encounter. Remus moaned and put his head in his hands. His head was killing him and his body felt like it's been through war. That pull in his stomach was still there.

"Always joking, are you?"

Remus made a move to try to stand, but his vision lurched, making him lose his balance and fall back into Sirius. He felt nauseous and his skin was on fire. He couldn't move.

Sirius caught him before they both hit the cement. "Remus, are you okay? Does something hurt?"

Remus could barely open his eyes. His whole body screamed. He groaned and clenched his teeth, arching his back slightly. "Hurts. Head. Nauseous. My skin is so hot," he said weakly. He gave in and fully leaned on Sirius for support. Sirius moved so he was behind Remus and gently lowered him to the floor, setting him in between his legs with his head resting on his chest. Sirius put a hand to Remus' forehead and gasped.

"Moony, you're burning up!" He exclaimed. Remus groaned.

"What happened?" He asked, dazed. Sirius gave a puzzled expression.

"Remus, do you know where you are? What just happened?" Asked Sirius cautiously.

Remus started to clench his hands and shift his body, clearly feeling uncomfortable. "I - I think so. Uhm... it's kind of a blur. I, I think I pushed you? Godric, Sirius why do I feel so terrible?" Remus winced.

Sirius quickly pulled the two way mirror from his pocket, shouting for James. After a few minutes, he could see James' face come into frame.

"Took you long enough, you prat! I need your help. Remus is in bad shape, we need to get him to Pomphrey now. We're in the old classroom."

James didn't even wait for a response before he flung the mirror down and moved out of sight.

While waiting for James, Sirius sat there with Remus, slowly replaying the events that just occurred. It was over as quickly as it started, but they almost seemed lost in time. Sirius lowered his face to Remus' hair, closing his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

James came storming through the classroom door, shocked by what he saw. His two best friends on the floor, almost in an embrace. Sirius looked up, relieved. Remus looked gravely ill. "What the hell happened?!"

"No time, help me get him on his feet." James heaved Remus off Sirius, who raised unsteadily to his feet to grab the other side of Remus. Remus protested faintly.

"Padfoot, he's dead on his feet. You've been gone for like 30 minutes," exclaimed James. They walked unsteadily down the hall as fast as they could.

"James, you don't even know," said Sirius cryptically.

They walked a bit before they felt Remus tense up, clutching their shoulders and inhaling sharply. Pain lined his face.

"Moony, we're almost there. You'll be able to sleep soon," cooed Sirius soothingly. Remus seemed to calm down. He lulled his head close to Sirius for comfort.

They were incredibly fortunate to not run into other students or professors during their journey to the hospital wing. When they got there, emotionally and physically exhausted, and for James, no longer drunk, they shouted for Madame Pomphrey. She came running in her dressing down.

"What on earth is all the scream-," she stopped in her tracks when she said the three boys. "Oh my goodness, what happened here? Place him on the bed, quickly, gently now."

She waved her hand and the candles around them sprang to life. Remus looked ghastly by the candlelight. James and Sirius lowered Remus onto the closest cot, and turned to Madame Pomphrey.

"We think it's the harvest moon," Sirius said quietly. "He was moody and aggressive all day. He said he was fine, that he could handle the change before tomorrow. We told him we'd take him straight here if we thought he was a danger to himself or others. Within the last hour, he-" Sirius paused and turned to look at Remus, who still had his eyes closed, breathing heavily. "It's like he wasn't Remus anymore." Sirius lowered his eyes.

"Oh, dear boy," sighed Madame Pomphrey, looking at Remus. "I wish you'd brought him in sooner, but he's a stubborn one to convince. I'm going to give him a sleeping draught in order for him to sleep until tomorrow evening., he's in now shape to face tomorrow in this state, let along stay in my care safely."

She then looked at both James and Sirius. "You'll be able to come see him Monday evening. The harvest moon is nothing to be messed with, as I sure you've learned in your Astronomy classes." She gently pushed them to the door then busied herself over Remus, walking to her cabinet and pulling out a calming draught and dreamless sleep potion.


	6. Chapter 6

James and Sirius walked silently side by side back to the common room. It was late, and both were replaying the night's events in their head. After a while, James looked up at Sirius.

"Padfoot, what happened in the classroom?" James asked quietly. Sirius stared straight ahead and ran his hands through his hair.

Sirius was dreading this question, because he didn't have an answer. What DID happen? Was that Remus he was with, or was it the wolf taking over the instinct? What is the instinct? Was the interaction true? How did Sirius feel about it? How should he feel about it?

Sirius tried to give a simple answer. "I saw he was about to lose it at the party, so I tried to guide him to the hospital wing. He - or the wolf, I'm not exactly sure what to call that personality of his - figured out what I was doing and tried to go back to the common room. I persuaded him to go into the classroom to cool down. And, after a while, he just couldn't control it." Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"Do you think we should be with him tomorrow? Do you think it's safe?"

"I think we should be okay. We know the escape route if things get a little intense," said Sirius confidently. If there's one thing he's certain of, it's that Remus shouldn't be alone tomorrow.

Sirius and James slept like the dead, only waking up when Peter alerted them they'd miss lunch if they didn't hurry. They ate quickly, showered, and tried to relax in the common room with Lily and Marlene before it was time to head to the Shrieking Shack. Sirius has a hard time sitting still, wishing he could visit Remus in the hospital wing.

By 8:00, it was just about time for James, Sirius, and Peter to huddle under the invisibility cloak and follow Remus and Madame Pomphrey down to the Whomping Willow. By the time they reached the massive tree, the moon was large, low in the sky like a glowing, ominous beacon. Once Madame Pomphrey was out of sight on the way back to the castle, Peter quickly transformed, pushing the knot on the trunk and opening the secret passageway once more.

The anxiety and adrenaline was almost tangible as the group walked quickly through the tunnel. They reached the door to the Shrieking Shack and paused. It was quiet until they heard a soft moan. The Marauders looked at each other. Remus hadn't turned yet, now was their opportunity.

Sirius was the first one through the door. He spotted Remus on his hands in knees, breathing heavily. Remus turned to look at them, his eyes slowly turning color. He glanced at Sirius and grimaced.

"You're here," he said. "I, I don't know what's going to happen tonight. It's going to be bad, I can feel it. Argh!" Remus doubles down as paid ripped through his body, getting ready to change. "You need to leave. I could hurt you!"

Sirius quickly tried to calm Remus down. "Moony, we haven't left you to you own in years, tonight isn't going to be any different. Besides, you injure yourself more without us. We'll be right here."

Remus arched his back and glared at Sirius. "Padfoot, get out! I can't hurt you. I won't! I'm so sorry..." he didn't have a chance to finish his thought as he started to transform. Sirius quickly turned into the great big dog, while James morphed into the stag. Peter never changed back to human form, and he hid in the corner of the closet.

Once Remus transformed, he stood there, not looking at his friends. Sirius whimpered for Moony.

Remus was breathtaking. It always amazed Sirius how beautiful he was, grey haired with his golden eyes and a big tufted tail. So strong to go through this altering transformation each month, contorting his body, bones, and mind.

Remus didn't move. While his body changed quickly, it took a while for his mind to catch up, like he was prolonging the transformation as long as possible, fighting the wolf's takeover of his mind. Remus huffed, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he howled, deep from the throat, and loud. So loud, Sirius tucked his tail under and lowered his ears, preparing to run.

Once Remus was finished, He looked around, landing his eyes on James and then Sirius. Remus sniffed the air and walked toward Sirius. Sirius knew not to move. The wolf was alpha, they knew that. You don't challenge Mooney in wolf form, it could cost you your life.

Remus continued to sniff Sirius, who in turn sniffed back. He always enjoyed the smell of the wolf. Sirius chalked it up to being another canine. The wolf smelled like Remus, or Remus smelled like the wolf. Sweet, like dark chocolate, musty, like old books, and something primal. Right now, that primal smell was dominant.

Remus then moved on to sniff James, who stood very still. He wasn't a canine, but he was part of the wolf's "pack". It just took longer for the wolf to smell out James. He was almost done when Sirius made a movement to adjust his stance. Remus stopped smelling, crouching, raising the hair on his back. He made a low growl.

Remus should have known it was Sirius and not a strange creature. He wasn't normally this untrustworthy, but the harvest moon is different. Sirius laid low on the ground, submitting, but still held Remus' gaze, looking for any semblance of the boy he just was. He couldn't find it. Remus was lost to the wolf.

The wolf bared his teeth, moving away from James towards Sirius. James, sensing the danger, stepped between the two canines, blocking Moony's path to Sirius. Remus barked, and lunged, trying to get past the stag towards Sirius. James bucked, backing the wolf into a corner. Remus then jumped on James, trying to break free.

James then ducked his head, prodding the wolf warningly with his sharp antlers. Sirius stood up, baring his teeth, wanting to protect James. The wolf, already hostile, misunderstood, taking sirius' body language as an invitation to fight. He quickly slashed James around the neck, distracting him enough to leap forward towards Sirius.

This wasn't the Moony they knew. This wolf was out for blood. The Marauders had to leave if they were to survive.

Remus and Sirius stood in fighting stance, growling and showing teeth for a good 10 seconds. Sirius crouched again, trying to submit to the wolf, but he was too angered; the wolf wasn't having it. Sirius saw Peter slip under the door. He would open the door for each of them midway through transformation.

Sirius knew the wolf was focused on him. He had to distract the wolf long enough for James to escape. Sirius barked loudly, backing away to give a wider birth between Moony and the door to the secret passageway.

The wolf answered with his own loud, guttural bark. The wolf started to salivate. He soon started to howl again, long and deep. Sirius glanced at the door and nodded to James. Without looking back, James ran to the door. The wolf heard the noise and immediately lunged for the stag. Sirius threw himself on top of the wolf, biting into his neck. James was so close, he already transformed and opened the door.

The wolf yelped at Sirius' bite. He pounded on Sirius, scratching his neck and torso.

Sirius laid on his side, breathing heavily. He let out a soft whimper that seemed to have startled the wolf. The wolf stopped moving abruptly, and to Sirius' surprise, the wolf mimicked his whimper.

Sirius lifted his head. It hurt to move, but he stared at the wolf, who tilted his head. Remus?

Remus moved closer, making Sirius flinch; he couldn't stand another fight. There was so much blood matted in his fur and seeping into the rotted carpet. Remus whimpered again and quietly laid down next to Sirius and started licking his face, trying to clean the blood.

Sirius wasn't sure how long Remus was going to be lucid before the harvest moon took over. He made a move to get up, but his vision blurred and tunneled. He stumbled and quickly laid back down. He felt the wolf's heavy head on his hands.

He heard the heavy footsteps of Prongs. He came back! The wolf looked up at James wearily and whimpered agaIn, moving his body closer to Sirius. James nudged Remus with his antlers, making him move out of the way. How was he going to get Sirius out of here without picking him up?

James had an idea. He knew Remus was lucid. He stared at Remus, hoping to communicate that Sirius needed medical attention before the wolf took over again.

Remus got the message. He quickly went to Sirius and tried to get him to stand. James then dipped his head, telling Sirius to use his antlers as leverage to guide him out of the room.

Moony watched from the corner of the room, tail low and ears back. They were almost to the passage door when Remus started to growl. The wolf was taking over and his meat was leaving. He started to walk towards them.

Soon enough, the passage door flung open and Peter grabbed Sirius while James transformed, shutting the door behind them. They could hear the wolf slamming his body against the door, clawing and chewing, howling for his friends.

James and Peter quickly lit their wands to light the passageway. Sirius hadn't transformed back and was lying on the ground, not moving. James bent down and put a hand to Sirius's side. He felt Sirius' faint breathing. When James took his hand away, it was covered in blood.

"Sirius, Sirius, wake up, mate. Come on, you need to transform, okay? We need to get you back to the castle. _Vulnera Sanentur_." James started to help clear up some of the deep wounds. He willed himself not to cry. He's never seen Sirius hurt this badly. " _Tergeo_."

Sirius shut his eyes and slowly transformed back. James tried not to gasp. Without the dark fur covering his wounds, Sirius looked a fright. Peter and James continued with the healing spells before Peter said softly, "James, we have to take him to the hospital wing."

"No!" Yelled James. "Don't be ridiculous, Pete. We have a stash of dittany and salve just for this sort of thing. Besides, do you want Pomphrey questioning us after we just dropped Remus off the night before? She'd expel Remus for sure. We knew this risk, that this could happen. We're prepared." James stared at Sirius' unconscious body.

" _Rennervate_ ," James said quietly. Sirius took in a huge breath and immediately cried out. The wolf behind the door growled loudly.

"Sirius, you're fine, you're safe. We got you out of there, said James softly. "We have you. We have to get back to the dormitory. We healed you as much as we could. We're going to levitate you under the cloak, alright?"

Sirius was weeping, trying to wrap his arms around his head. James had to be strong. He levitated Sirius and threw the cloak over him. Peter scurried ahead, transforming to tap the knot in the tree.

By the time they got back to the dorm, Sirius was unconscious. James placed him in bed and told Peter to grab a bowl of hot water and a cloth. They needed to clean up the remainder of the dried blood. Peter busied himself pulling the ointments and ready-made potions from under Remus' bed. He handed a few to James who poured them into Sirius' mouth.

James sat next to Sirius' bedside, making sure his best friend was as comfortable as could be until Peter tapped him on his shoulder, holding out the dittany.

"You've got a nasty scratch yourself, Prongs," he said. James, running on adrenaline, didn't feel his battle wound until just now. The deep scratch ran from the back of his neck down and around his collarbone and under his arm.

The dittany worked its magic and James hopped into the shower, letting the water loosen his muscles. He toweled off, put on his pajamas and promptly fell into bed, not stirring awake until the next afternoon.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus spent another day in the Hospital Wing recovering when James and Peter came by to bring him notes from the classes he missed. Sirius was still lying low and Remus was beginning to worry.

When Remus wasn't copying notes and studying the day's lessons, he was thinking of Sirius. It was frustrating only knowing bits and pieces of that night, and he was so ashamed to know he hurt his best friend. But, there was something else. Another feeling Remus couldn't quite place. An almost anxious type of feeling. Heart racing, hands jittering every time he thought about those few lucid moments.

The scent. Remus remembered Sirius' strong scent and how it made the wolf unhinge. He needed to know what happened in the classroom.

It wasn't until after dinner that Madame Pomfrey let Remus leave the Hospital Wing. He slowly gathered his things and walked towards the Gryffindor Common Room. The thought of seeing Sirius for the first time since the moon made his palms sweat.

Remus gave the Fat Lady the password and clambered through the portrait hole. He scanned the room for the Marauders and found them sitting next to the roaring fire. James was playing chess with Peter while Sirius lounged across the couch, feet propped up on the arm, shooting sparks lazily into the air with his wand. Remus smiled and strolled over to them, sitting down in a well-worn, oversized chair.

"Moony's back!" Exclaimed James with a big grin on his face, as his queen slicing Peter's bishop in half. Sirius cocked his head back violently and immediately whipped around into a seating position. The quick maneuver made a slew of sparks shoot right towards Peter's head. "How are you feeling, mate?"

"Better. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed," Remus replied. He glanced up at Sirius, who was eyeing him up and down. Well, might as well get this over with. "Sirius, can we chat?"

He nodded and got up gingerly. He was still sore from the moon, but in fine shape thanks to James' quick thinking with the dittany and salve. "See you lads later," he called to James and Peter. "Up for a walk, Moony?"

"Yeah, I could use a one after laying down for days."

Sirius and Remus started walking towards no destination. The castle was quiet this time of night with most students winding down from the day and getting ready for bed. Remus noticed Sirius' body language was tense, with his hands in his pockets and shoulders hiked up to his ears.

"Padfoot, I'm so-"

"Remus, do you-"

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other and smiled. Great minds think alike. "Padfoot, I'm having a hard time piecing together the night before the full moon," said Remus. "My memory is a little fuzzy, but it sounds like you remember the most; James has been tight-lipped."

Sirius ran a ran a hand through his hair, flipping it out of his eyes. "What I was going to ask was what do you remember?"

Remus thought for a moment. "Well, I remember most of the day. I remember the quidditch game (remind me to apologize to Lily and that first year, blimey), I remember walking to the library, and I remember sulking in the dormitory before the party. I know my senses are always...heightened…around the moon, but this felt...different. I remember walking down to the party, and then that's when i'm missing gaps. Was it because there were so many people? The next thing I remember is we're on the ground somewhere and then you and James are carting me off to the hospital wing, my head feeling like it's about to split open. Then, everything is blank until I wake up a few days ago." Remus inhaled a long breath. He didn't realize he was speaking so quickly, all in one breath. He hesitated.

"What am I missing, Sirius?"

"You're pretty spot on. You seemed relatively okay until I think it all became too much for you. I spotted you at the party when I was talking with Marlene and you were taking back drinks like I've never seen you do before. James and I made sure we kept an eye on you in case anything out of the ordinary happened, and we'd drag you to Poppy kicking and screaming if it came to that." Sirius grinned sheepishly. They got to a fork in hallway and decided to take the one that led to one of the moving staircases on the way to the Divination and Astronomy classrooms.

"It looked like the party was getting to you, do you remember any of that?" Sirius asked. Remus clenched his eyes shut trying to remember.

He remembers talking to Lily, and spotting Sirius with Marlene. He suddenly got a wave of, what was that, jealousy? Remus shook his head slightly, trying to erase the flittering feeling. "I think so. I remember grabbing a drink, talking to Lily and Dorcas. I think I spoke to you by the tables?"

"Yeah, I saw you were having a hard time focusing on your surroundings, then you looked like you were going to drop on your feet. I saw your eyes change for a split second and knew I had to get you out of there. As weak as you were, you were strong, Moons. So, I bargained with you." Sirius glanced at Moony who was keeping his head down, listening intently.

"I told you that we'd get some air and go back to the party once you felt a little better. We went into one of those old classrooms we use. Then something changed."

Remus lifted his head and stopped walking. "Changed?" he whispered. The boys started up one of the staircases, climbing further up the castle.

"Yeah, changed. Um, you were, ah, aggressive," Sirius said quickly, waving his hands like he was trying to bat away that sentence as fast as possible. "You sort of, lunged at me."

How was Sirius supposed to explain to Remus that they had a somewhat passionate encounter and he didn't know how he felt about it? That he even knew?!

Remus' eyes widened. "Oh my god, did I hurt you?" He asked frantically. At that moment the staircase decided to shift, causing Sirius to lose his balance and fall into Remus. Remus caught him by the shoulders, but was still too weak to hold him steady. "Woah!"

The two boys fell onto the cold stone steps. Remus could feel his cheeks getting warm. He subconsciously breathed in Sirius' deep scent and closed his eyes for a split second, his hand still holding onto Sirius.

Sirius tried to right himself as quick as possible. He accidentally set his hand on Remus' leg as he tried to find the step to hoist him back to his feet. "S-sorry, mate."

He felt Remus tense. Sirius looked at Remus, whose face was red as he felt. Their eyes locked, unsure on how to proceed. It was moments before Remus coughed and broke contact, pushing himself off the stairs. "Staircase stopped," he muttered.

"Oh. Right…," said Sirius. They boys kept walking, albeit a little further apart. They walked in silence for a few minutes, getting lost in their own thoughts about what just occurred. Remus almost forgot to continue their conversation when Sirius spoke. "So, the classroom."

Remus put his hand around the back of his neck, a known sign he was uncomfortable, and sighed. "Yeah, the classroom. What happened, Padfoot?" he asked reluctantly. By now the two reached the Divination classroom. Not wanting to climb up the ladder to the room or head further up to the Astronomy Tower, they turned around and made their way back to the Common Room, taking the long route.

Something shifted in Sirius' demeanor. He was trying to relax, act nonchalant. He didn't want Remus to get any ideas, or feel lower than he already did about himself.

"Yeah mate, so you lunged at me, pinning me to the wall and everything. I had to trip you in order to breathe again (not all entirely untrue, thought Sirius). I called Prongs and he helped me take you to Poppy." Sirius turned to look at Remus and gave his trademark smirk. Sirius' heart was beating fast, but he tried to play off this conversation like it was nothing.

Remus was quiet. He's unintentionally done worse to his friends in these awful states before the moon than just pinning Sirius to a wall. Why did it seem like something was missing? Sirius' body language didn't seem right.

"So, I trapped you in the classroom, you trip me, hold me hostage until James comes?" Remus asked, repeating Sirius' words back.

"Mhmm…," replied Sirius. Remus stopped walking, causing Sirius to turn around. Remus trusted his friends, and Sirius was his best friend. Why was he lying?

"That's… that's all the happened? Because I don't… that doesn't seem right. It doesn't...feel…" Remus let his words fall. what was he trying to do? Was he trying to admit to Sirius that he felt something, and still does?

Sirius sighed loudly and rubbed his face, suddenly looking exhausted. He walked back towards Remus and placed his hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eyes. Sirius gulped.

"Remus, that's all you need to know. Okay? It's fine. We're fine. No one was hurt," he stated calmly. "This moon was enough to make us all a little tense, alright? Let's just, move past it. Besides, we have less than a month until your next journey."

Remus bowed his head. Move past it. Noted.

"Sure Sirius. If you say so. But, James tells me I did you in at the Shack. I can tell you're in pain. I'm so, so sorry Sirius."

Sirius then slung his arm across Remus' shoulders, hugging slightly and walking again back towards the Common Room. "Moony, it happens! We know the risks, especially on a harvest moon. Prongs was there and Peter - well, Peter helped. I'm fine. We're all okay! Let's go back to the common room, see if James and Pete are still playing chess, eh?"

"Yeah. Alright."

When Sirius and Remus finally walked through the portrait hole, they noticed the fire was dying down and James and Peter abandoned their chess game. They wandered up to the dormitories to find the two lounging on their beds, James reading Seeker Weekly and Peter munching on Honeydukes chocolate. Remus snagged some chocolate from Peter and flopped on his bed.

"Alright, you two?" Inquired James, glancing over his magazine.

Remus didn't feel like chatting and replaying the conversation he just had with Sirius. Ha waved off James and walked to the bathroom, getting ready for bed. He saw Sirius shrug and murmur, "S'all good, Prongs," as he grabbed a bottle ooff his nightstand, unbuttoned his shirt, and started rubbing it on his healing scratches from the full moon. Remus stole a glance his way then slammed the bathroom door loudly, effectively ending all communication for the night.


End file.
